Duane Jones Staff, Faculty of Medicine That was a chip on my shoulder that I needed this kind of validation. I was kind of picked on, not directly bullied, and I got interested in martial arts and got into superheroes, so I ended up drawing them as people I kind of wanted to be. My mom actually put me in martial arts and that was a huge confidence builder for me. For the first time, I saw myself in a different light. It was hard work, but I got pretty good at it. I got a black belt. It was definitely a passion of mine, alongside art. And when I hit my teenage years, I got exposed to basketball, which was not a popular sport in Bermuda. The basketball players were kind of outsiders and I kind of related to that. I sucked at it, but there was just something about it that I loved and I played all the time. I got pretty decent pretty quick, but then I could not make my high school team. That was a chip on my shoulder that I needed this kind of validation. I spent a lot of time playing in the neighborhood and everybody who made the team used to come by and I tried to prove that I could make the team. I would challenge them. I had a point to prove and I would play extra hard. I just had to know for myself that I should be in this team. Even if nobody would say it, they would know it when they see it. That was kind of my thing. I didn’t want to start my own business initially because I just thought it would be too complicated and I was not qualified to do it. I just wanted to work for a fancy design agency. I was all about the design, the process, the creativity. That was all that I wanted to do. I just wanted someone to pay me to come to work every day. But no matter how hard I tried, I could not get into the agencies here. It was hard for me to convince people that the ideas I had were valid. I thought about being the own head of my own business. The interesting thing is that when you have a clothing brand, people start reaching out to you. They think that what you are doing is cool and they want to know more about it. They want to connect with you and there I realized that creating my own lane instead of waiting for other people to provide me an opportunity, opened up new things for me. Around the time that I was starting Art Pays Me, I was working at Dal and I was also doing a Master’s degree in information management part-time. My oldest daughter was young, my newest was just born. My wife was also doing a part-time masters and she had a very stressful job. A lot of things were happening at once. It was really important to me to be the best dad possible, I would sacrifice sleep in order to be there for everyone and fulfill my business obligations at the same time. It just came to a moment when my wife was frank with me one day and told me that I am a lot of times upset and not happy. She was talking about that chip on my shoulder that was telling me, “I am going to prove everyone wrong, I will make this business successful.” Even with martial arts, it took me a long time before I got to a point where they acknowledged me as a good student. All of these moments throughout high school and not getting on the basketball team, having a hard time in school at Bermuda college and NSCAD — I see them as character-building experiences. I had this narrative that life was always going to be hard for me and I would have to deal with it. I accepted it, but at the same time, it was making me depressed. I also had a turning point where I had to realize that even though this chip was making me successful, it was holding me back in other ways, too. I had to find a way to be ok with being happy, being okay with people not believing in me in the way I believe in myself. But then also still maintain a certain level of work ethic. I know the chip made it easier sometimes to work harder. For me it was really going to therapy that helped me realise that I deserve to be happy and that I didn’t need to suffer (all the time) to be successful. To go through this process to understand to forget about the chip on your shoulder in order to balance your work, self-care, time. Do not let it eat your soul. There is only so far you can get with it. ← Reenat ↑ Home Campbell →